Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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