please come you make the beer taste better
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
This house was built for laser tag.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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