Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
My Sexting was not on an AP level
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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