my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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