69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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