i barfeds in our rink
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
