genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
