I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
In America we eat man semen.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
We just shotgunned beers for America
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
