summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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