I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
