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Cold hands, warm shart.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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