The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize