I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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