if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blew him?!?!
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes