No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
