her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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