you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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