think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
