Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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