I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
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