big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
