honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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