but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
