it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
