whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
