Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
