I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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