shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'm just crazy horny about you
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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