Tell her she can't have a vagina
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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