Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
