The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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