I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
