Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
