his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
two words: eviction party
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
