YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
