what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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