Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
