thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
