And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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