I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize
