Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
