just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
