you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
