You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
