To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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