pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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