I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I party with great urgency now.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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