I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The feeling are messing with the penis
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
