I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
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Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
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Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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