soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
