It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
