Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
