I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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