my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
