You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize
