considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
