I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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