I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
