I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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