Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
