I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize