margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
