Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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