32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize